Excited!

I have something to look forward to!

Starting May 1st I will be participating in a bible study!!! YAY! I am so excited.

I "met" this fellow blogger back on a baby website a few years ago. Back when Chris and I were trying to conceive I found this website and message board and developed alot of lasting friendships. This one particular member always struck me as someone strong in her convictions and I honestly was inspired. She was part of the puzzle that helped me find my way back to the Lord.

I stopped going to the website after Chris and I couldn't conceive. I was sort of lost and hurt and really didn't want to visit a baby website.

And a few days ago on Face book it was "recommended" I become a fan of a particular person named Hallee the homemaker. Honestly I didn't even know who the person was..but I became a "friend" because I saw a few of my friends were her friend. You know the age old face book nonsense, become a friend because your friend is a friend. blah blah. lol

A day later I really investigated because I was annoyed that I couldn't figure out who this person was, although the name sounded familiar. I searched her profile and found her website, Hallee the Homemaker. And wham I knew who it was. It was the woman that I admired so much!

I sent her a email and have become a reader of her site. She is a good Christian woman, who is faithful to her Lord, husband, children and home. I admire her so much. She is honestly one of the most Godly women I have ever met. I recommend reading her site and following her. It's worth the time and commitment. I am following her advice, looking into the diet that her family follows and the life they lead.

She doesn't know how much it's inspiring me, and the God brought her into my life (in the strangest way, via the internet) so that I can follow his steps, his words, his life. But I hope that maybe by me putting her info here, she can help another become yet another child and follower of Christ.

So if you all are able to, trot on over to her site. If you can also become involved in the bible study. It's going to be good!

Here is the bible study, The Power of a Praying Wife. And there is a great deal on the book and workbook on Barnes and Noble.

So please join us. It will be so much fun!

God Bless and Hugs,

Just another day...

I am depressed.

Ok I put it out there. Things should get better right? Acknowledging it is half the battle right?

I have let my life fall apart piece by piece. I have given up alot of things that I have loved. Stopped doing things that made me happy.

I am not exactly sure why, but I have.

All because I am depressed and down. And not wanting to deal with things.

I sleep all day, go to work, come home, and hide behind this screen. I don't do anything. I don't cook, clean, nothing. I just barely exist.

Today tho I took a step. I cleaned my kitchen, did all the dishes. Dishes that had been sitting there for far longer than they should have. And now I have White Chicken Chili in the crockpot.

Tomorrow I will work on my bedroom. Then the next day my living room. One step at a time is what I am doing.

So if you happen to read this...which I am sure no one really does...leave me a comment...tell me your tricks to clean things, keep things clean, how you have a schedule...whatever it is that gets you up and motivated. I could use the inspiration.

Sleep, where for out tho sleep?

I just want to sleep...

I can't seem to get back onto a good sleep cycle. I have no idea how in the world it became so wonky, but it did. And now I am up for hours on end, wishing, praying, pretending to sleep. It's quite exhausting...but not exhausting enough to ACTUALLY SLEEP!

So I am here, online, searching. I am researching a Leviticus diet. I am quite intrigued by it and am contemplating beginning it. It looks like something my body, mind, heart and soul needs. A true declaration to God. And then the health benefits are just HUGE.

I have a suggestion for a book to read, and I am also researching online. I would like to go see if the library at church has the book or books I need. I really am interested in finding all I can about this "diet" or way of living.

From what I gather, it is a way of life. It's a new beginning. Exactly what I need.

But back to the topic at hand....I am so sleepy, but just can't sleep! I took a vicodin and soma, hoping it will relax my neck and as a added benefit maybe knock me out. No such luck. And apparently it doesn't mess with my brain that much because I can still form complete sentences. And I don't sound like a raving lunatic right now. Unlike most days :)

Anyways...off to count sheep...or kittens...or puppy dogs...or whatever it is they tell you to count. Great, I can't even get that right. No wonder I can't sleep.

Here I am

In my last blog post I posted that Ladybird had died. So much has happened since then.

1. I started that new job, and am liking it.
2. I have made some new friends at said job, and even recruited some old friends to come work with me. And I am loving it.
3. I found what I want to be when I "grow up". I decided to jump ahead and throw myself into studies to become a Physician's Assistant. I feel like I can truly help people this way. And I can also do a secret dream I have had for a long time. I would love to go on a missionary to another country and help.
4. I have found my love for reading again. I am knee deep in "The Time Traveler's Wife". And I have about 4 others to read next.
5. I have felt so lost, spiritually. I stumbled across a blog written by someone who led me to fit the pieces of the puzzle together and ultimately won my heart to Christ. Be aware, that this blog will from now on be ultimately about my path, my life, everything...but Christ will be the center of it and I will be discussing it.
6. Chris has become increasingly quiet and withdrawn. Which sometimes can be ok, but for someone with BiPolar, it isn't. I am trying very hard to get back the Chris I knew, and fell in love with.
7. My brother is on his 4th deployment, so many prayers are said for him everyday.

I think that's about it. I know there is so much more, but I just wanted to give you a update.

And yes I still think of Ladybird every single day. She was and is my baby. And I miss her. But God is helping heal my heart.

Missing Ladybird,
Angel

I haven't been here for awhile...

I haven't been here for awhile. And for a good reason. But I was on facebook and my brother said something about a thought provoking website..funny that I should think of this place.

I haven't been here for a good reason...

This place is titled "You say Hotdog, I say Huttdog." It was titled that way for a number of reasons, but the main reason was because of my little wiener dog, Ladybird.

I found it hilarious to come here and talk about her every once in a great while and also about my adventures. I found it hilarious that I titled it that way as well.

But on November 21st something horrific happened. Something that wouldn't allow me to come here until now.

I lost Ladybird. She died on November 21st.

I am truely lost without her and unsure how much I will be here to post. I will try...but I may even start up a new blog. Who really knows. For now tho I am leaving everything here in hopes that someday I can come back and read about the things that were happening in my life when she was alive.

For now I will leave this here...hopefully come back to tell you all the story about her life and death. For now I will mourn her death...with her sitting beside me on the nightstand (I had her cremated).

RIP
Ladybird Elizabeth Fyffe-Allard

I can't make this up even if I tried...

Today is a calamity of randomness.

First off I slept until 12:35pm. Yes you read that right. I forgot to set the alarm on my phone. So I just slept and slept. I woke up in a panic and screamed to Chris downstairs. He came trudging up the steps and asked me what. I said, " why the heck didn't you wake me up!?" And he stated he knew I was tired. And then I proceeded to scramble in a hurry to get things done. I kept muttering that I had things to do and I wish he would have woke me up.

And then the mountain of laundry has begun.

And then I had to run to the pharmacy to pick up Chris' morphine. Yeah he is on morphine. *sigh*

And then I had to run to work.

And halfway through the first class I remembered that I hadn't eaten or dranken anything. So my sugar started to crash.

So then I had to find money for a coke.

And then I got off work....

And found somewhere to eat....

And now I am home.

I never said this would be an exciting blog.

*sigh* ok he is cool...

I am now getting hate mail. HATE MAIL! Can you believe that? Little ole me getting hate mail? Such a travesty! This is either a post you will understand or not give a rats tail end about.*

I offended some international hate group (ok, not so much a group because it only is made up of one person, but shit she is in Canada and I am sure she can get a load of them rounded up to kick my ass). This group is EXTREMELY pro-Karate Kid. Yes you heard me right, Karate Kid.

Yes I realize that I must have said something horrific to piss off someone who loves a movie that came out, what a million years ago? I guess I did.

My life is over. Truely over. I pissed someone off that loves some geeky, weird shirt wearing, teenager. I offended them so much that I need to fear for my life.

I have since taken up in the witness protection program. They made a special circumstance for me and allowed me into the group. Seen as how I really didn't witness anything they made room for me. They said they didn't want to piss of the Canadians. I said, "eh, fine find me a cool crib to live in."

So now I am sitting here in this crap fest of a house. Somehow I think the Canadian won.

I should probally appologize. She is really smart and I bet she will find me. Crap. Ok fine, he is cool.

*Betcha only Sara cares...