Saturday, March 29, 2008

Because if I don't post she might hit me...

Ok I was trying to be funny, but I know if I do not blog she just might hit me. And for that I am scared beyond belief.

Ok Seriously...

It's come to mind taht I need to do something with my life. Something of substance, something that leaves my mark on this world. Lord knows I am a boring twit who has done NOTHING of importance and I should do something about it soon.

So I have been pondering what it is that I should do. Should I give my time at the local shelter handing out food? Should I gather everything in this house of junk that I do not use and donate it? Should I plant a tree? What is it that I should do?

I am so not sure. I've contemplated going back to school. Pharmacy seems like the most natural path, but I am not even sure if I want to do that. I'm kinda lost. So I have been taking time this past week to really think about what it is that I want to do.

These past few years haven't been the greatest by anymeans. Heck the past 3 months have been hell. Between having a sick husband, no money, bills coming out of my ass and everything else you want to throw in there, I have just about lost my ever loving mind.

Somewhere I lost myself, lost the ability to think about what I really want out of life and what it is that makes me happy. Sure some chocolate and a pepsi is good, but what really makes me happy? I sure don't know.

This past week has been especially trying for me. C is in the hospital right now. I am home alone alot, with nothing to do. (I will save the logistics and specifics for another post when I feel up to explaining or purging so to speak).

I am here alone to wallow in my aloneness or whatever you want to call it. And I am here thinking about what I want.

All I know is that I want to make the group trip in June back to Boston. I think nursing school may be a good idea. I need to clean the inside of my car. Lady needs a bath. And another soda sounds like a good idea.

Great start eh?


hangel said...

I wouldn't hit you...

At least not really hard :-)

Find yourself. That is what this perfect "alone" time is for. C will find himself and you find yourself. It is a therapeutic time for everyone! But, chocolate and diet are on the right track!