Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Pay it Forward

So I entered this contest on another blog. And I won! Soooo I am going to host my own right here right now.

THe way this works is, you comment on this post. I am going to ask a question, just answer it to the best of your ability. Come the closing time of the contest I will use a random number picker. If your post is that number, you win! Simple as pie right?

So the infamous question,

Is the grass always greener on the other side?

You have until October 17th at 2:00pm Arizona time to answer!

It's been awhile

Alot of crap has hit the fan, and it's too much to list here right now. I just can't list it all.

But I wanted to say I am here, I am alive, and I will try to post more often.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Is this bad?

Is it bad to want a mop for Christmas? LOL. I am being serious. I can't think of a thing I would want, but I do want a new mop for my kitchen. One of those sponge ones, not the mop ones with the white rope thingy's.

So is it bad?

Be honest...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My shopping trip!

I got 4 prescriptions filled, had a CVS coupon and a Frys coupon. I was at Frys and they accept competitors coupons.

So I paid $16 for 4 rx's got $85 in store gift cards.

I went shopping

3 containers of pringles
1 Mama Bella Garlic Toast
6 2-Liters of soda (for Chris)
1 Gallon of Orange Juice
2 Gallons of Milk
4 Totinos party pizza's
2 Dole Mandarin Orange Fruit cup packages
2 4-roll packs of Angel Soft TP
1 4-roll pack of Charmin TP
4 packages of pastrami
1 16 slices package of cheese
1 16oz package of ham
1 16oz package of turkey
$7 worth of pork tenderloin
1 Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal
1 Just bunches cereal
2 packages of dog treats
3 cans of Mighty dog
4 frozen Michelinas meals
4 frozen Banquet meals
6 Yoplait yogurts
1 magazine, to drown my sorrows in
2 loafs of Sara Lee 100% whole grain bread
1 package of swiss cake rolls
1 package of honey buns
2.05 lbs of bananas

I redeemed part of the gift card money, then gave her my coupons....

She ended up giving me $17.86 back.

So for $146.01 of food, $16.00 in rx's...I made $1.86!!!

I saved 115%

Man thank god I had this today. It made my day!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The joys of being a student?

As I sat in the lab portion of my Anatomy class I pondered why I was really there. I even jotted down in my notes, "what the hell have I gotten myself into?"

First of all, I anticipated being in a class full of students fresh out of high school. That was false. From what I can tell just one girl is fresh out of high school, and she is not at all one of those students. You know what I mean. From everything I can tell she actually wants to be there to learn.

Also I anticipated some diversity. False again. The class is all women. Yep all women. Poor poor instructor is male. He is out numbered. I suspect we all will pass the class. He he

Besides those two obervations I have nothing else to add about the class. It's still too soon to figure it out.

I am however in piles of things to do for the class. Alot of memorization and refreshing my mind. I am still amazed that I was able to teach my lab partners the different bones. I thought for certain I had forgot.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

2 days...What the hell am I thinking?

2 lucky and glorious days left until I am blessed enough to be sitting in a room with 50 other people pondering why in the hell I decided to take Human Anatomy & Physiology. Now you know they are asking themselves the same damn question.

The look of desperation and anxiety is clearly written on their faces. Just take a good look at them. They are the ones that turn around, look at everyone before class begins, hoping they see someone they know. But you never find someone you know. Because in reality your the moron of your group who decided that taking this upper level course would be fun. Pfft. Like I said, moron.

But have no fears. I am sitting in that same class as you. I look around too, scoping out the place, wondering who I can hit up to be a lab partner or study buddy. More often than not I never find a soul. Usually the class is filled with some kids fresh out of high school who only got into this class on a technicality because they "took" some other class in high school. And always they are the ones that drop like flies because who really cares if you pass or fail when Daddy is paying for your class. Bitter? Who me? Never.

So here I will be the oldie out of the class. The one who really really needs to pass the class and can not be bothered with "kids" goofing around in lab or lecture. My nose in a book is what I will be. I will have to hit up my friends, who thought their Anatomy lingo was long gone after they graduated, to quiz me and run thru my note cards with me. *snicker* But nope, they will be roped into helping me.

Until then I must sleep. Must sleep and get whatever sleep I can get, because hell or high water I am going to show all those "kids" that an oldie can get an A!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Lack of Creativity

Its 11:41pm here. I have the olympics on in the back ground. I hear the hum of the air conditioner. It's peaceful. The husband is asleep..all is well in the world.

But I am lacking some creativity. I noticed today that I am not being creative anymore. I used to paint, scrapbook, draw, write...the whole 9 yards. But lately I am just a blah. Nothing is getting me motivated to be creative. I wish I could get out of this funk.

I haven't even blogged in awhile. I haven't had anything to share, nothing worth plastering out here to the world. It is quite sad. I find it sad at least. Do you?

I am sorry that this is the most boring blog ever. I have just been in a funk, not sure what is going on, but it's a funk that I am not sure will have a end in sight. I am just taking it day by day. And thankfully my ever wonderful friend C is able to make me laugh. Without her I would just be a bump on a log.

On a lighter note...7 days until classes start. Im very indifferent to the whole thing. Ask me in 7 days how I feel. Maybe I will be nervous. I am trying not to be because then my stomach gets in knots and its a VERY unpleasant thing. My anxiety tends to show up in nasty stomach issues. Too much information I know. But hey what the hell else am I gonna blog about?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In 9 days

In 9 days I will be returning back to the grind. Back to the grind of studying, worrying about grades, tests and all that other nonsense. I am returning back to school.

I decided a couple of months ago that I needed to further my schooling in order to get a better job. Better in the sense of monetary wise. Better as a whole? Maybe, but I have yet to find that out.

I am scared of making a transition, I don't transition or accept change all that well. I like the comfort and sanctity of a normal life. I can't remember half the time what I need to do, why screw with what my body does on autopilot?

I am sure that the blogs will slow down a bit, maybe even halt for awhile...but then again I could surprise the hell out of the two of us (I say two of us, because I think only one other person reads this...if not, get your sorry ass to the comment portion of this and let me know you read it!) and start blogging about random school things and the weird people that accompany me to a Friday night/Saturday morning Anatomy and Physiology class.

I may shock the hell out of us.

Saturday, August 9, 2008


So I am back from a first birthday party! So much fun :)

It was so cute. Joie (pronounced Joey) was adorable. She wore a tutu and had a crown, wand and sparkly shoes. Erin (my SIL) made a castle cake that was beautiful.

It was nice, but there was an absence without my brother. But we recorded it all for him and kept saying Joie say hi to daddy...and she would wave her hands and smile to the camera. He is going to love it. But I swear looking into her eyes is like looking into my brothers. While its adorable its also sad a bit.

My "mother" (birth mother) was there with her boyfriend. *sigh* Why I expected more I have no clue. But she didn't say a word to me. It was so apparent and clear I am not good enough for her. In fact when someone asked her if she only had Tom as a child, she said o no, flung her hand over and said well thats my daughter. She didnt even say my name. She refused to come near me. Whatever. Her loss not mine. But it was so obvious that I am not what she wants in her life. Apparently I am not good enough. *sigh*

Other than that it was a beautiful party. Lots of girly stuff and lots of kids playing. It was wonderful. I got to spend time with my little Joie and give her kisses. Erin kept saying go to Auntie Angel and Joie would walk over to me and open her mouth with this huge grin and then reach her hand up for mine. We share a good connection. She looked an awful lot like me when she was born. You would have thought we were sisters or I was her mama.

But I am back. Long long drive, but o so worth it all.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The same or different?

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup...Reese's Peanut Butter Whipped Bar. Should be the same right? Nope not at all. For some reason I seem to think the Cups have a much more richer peanut butter flavor. The Bar...its a soft slightly less as rich peanut butter flavor. I am not sure I am making sense. You will have to try it to understand.

So your homework...

Go out and buy one of each of these and compare them.

Then also buy two variations of the same candy bar. Like 3 Musketeers and a 3 musketeers mint... you get my drift. Then report back to me :)

This is an excuse for you to eat junk, quit your complaining!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Seminar-

The seminar went well. It was supposed to only last a hour, but it lasted two. All because some lady thought that this was her personal seminar and asked a shit load of questions that really didn't matter. But anyways...

I found out the program is what I am looking for. There is a wait tho. A long wait considering the program that I want to get into specifically is part time on Friday and Saturdays. Long days, but I would only go to school and clinicals those days and would be able to work full time, thankfully.

I learned a bit more about the fellowship I will apply for. I want it badly. VERY BADLY! Its a fellowship with a hospital I really like and would really want to work for. Basically I give them 3 years of employment and they pay for my nursing school and then I do my clinicals with them. Its beyond exciting and exactly what I want. Hopefully I will get it.

Thats it in a nutshell....

Im tackeling my desk right now...trying to get it organized. oiy!

Monday, August 4, 2008

At some point... ( a list )

At some point I will:

-get my price list done for couponing
-clean off my desk
-mop the floor
-clean the dishes
-scrub the counters
-wash the mirrors
-do laundry
-go thru the never ending pile of laundry
-sort thru the mail
-organize the bookcase
-go thru boxes
-organize the curio cabinet
-wash the car
-reorganize the living room
-put together my backpack for college
-sort thru this pile of papers next to the comput
-give Lady a bath
-and whatever else I am supposed to be doing

But for now...Im off to a nursing seminar at the college to see if this program is for me. Wish me luck. I will post my findings tonight.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Interesting? Who me? Please

So I was so graciously given the tag to post 7 interesting things about myself. Thank good ole Courtney for giving me the tag.

Also thank her for the ever seemingly boring list that I am about to blog here. Because lord knows I am as boring as they get. 24 hours later and I still don't have the foggiest clue what I should really be listing. Here is my lame attempt.

1.I am the first in my immediate family to get a tatoo. Don't worry, it's in a harmless place.No need to cover your eyes.It's rated G.

2.I carry the badge of furbaby mommy very proudly. I can not have children right now, if ever. So my little furry babies (dogs and cats)are my children. And I am not weird about it, I promise. I don't dress them in weird outfits or anything.

3.I have never done an illegal drug, yet I get to play with drugs for a living and legally too! Yep you read right. Never touched an illegal drug ever. I was too damn scared of my Dad to ever do one. That and it never really appealed to me.

4.I am seriously freaked out by people taking earrings out of their ears.And when I say freaked out, I mean freaked out!It scares the shit
out of me!

5.I can not go on long car rides without anti-nausea medication.
Even if I am driving I need it. When I was younger I got car sick all the time.My parents thought I would grow out of it. Nope, never have.

6.I'm damn good at keeping secrets. I have a few up my sleeve right now. One in particular is HUGE news....

7.I can change the oil in a car, rotate the tires, rebuild a engine...but I refuse to touch a car battery! Car batteries freak me out for some reason. Maybe it was because of hearing one explode.

Ok, so enough of my lame list. I know pass on the tag to a wonderful gal who desperately needs to find out the interesting things about herself, the wonderful Miss Andi!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yep just what I thought

One response for the last blog?

It's official...I have a fan base of ONE! I don't know wether to be sad or be happy. Now mind you that fan base of one is the greatest fan base ever...but my hopes of maybe having that base exceed maybe the occupancy of a small compact car was completely crushed.

Like I said I am sad. What's even worse is that I tell this person practically everything (exception is bowel movements...urine movements is another story), what the heck else will I have to blog about? Pretty soon that fan base of ONE will become zero....and then I will be sad.

Monday, July 21, 2008


I often wonder who really reads this and cares about my ramblings. Do people really check up on me? Do they stop by to see if I have posted? Do they care?

Its really a bunch of meaningless questions, one's that really do not matter. But they matter to me. Unfortunately I am one of those people who cares a little too much about what people think of me. And it's not about the vanity kinda things, it's whether or not someone likes me and or is mad at me. I can't stand the thought of someone not liking me or being mad at me. It get's under my skin.

So I really do sometimes sit here and wonder who really reads the ramblings that come out of my mouth. Because lets be honest, alot of the time I make no sense. I ramble on and on without a coherent thought.

So I wanna know something about you. Do you check up on me? Are you disappointed when I don't update? What do you like and want to hear more about?

Hugs and love

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Having no money blows!

I hate being broke. Its sucks donkey balls.

I have $5.30 to my name. How sad is that? Seriously. I'm trying to scrape some money together to get Chris a pack of cigarettes. And I can't even do that. I feel like the biggest failure ever. I can't even scrape together enough money to do anything. What we have in the cupboards and fridge is it for a week.

I have borrowed money from here until eternity....and I have nothing.

Life blows.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My Baby Turned 1

My baby turned one on the 9th. A whole year old.

Seems like yesterday I brought her home to live with us. Now she is full grown and o so smart. She learns more and more everyday and never ceases to amaze me.

When I come home she is so excited and jumps around with joy. Never is there a day where she isn't happy I am home. And when I leave she cries. Cries and cries at the door from what Chris tells me.

Every night she sleeps at my side. She curls up against me and never moves.

Chris says she is attached to me and definetely mine. She loves him, but he says that with me its completely different. She always has to be around me. No matter where I am she is a few steps behind me.

So my baby Lady is a year old. Still a puppy, but getting so big.

Is this what real mothers feel like? lol

Friday, July 11, 2008

Cordless Jump Rope

I've gotten a couple of questions about this wonderful most excellent invention (note sarcasm and sheer annoyance). I decided to do some sleuthing. Good old google works wonders my friends.

I found an article by the "genius" that invented this contraption.

Here are my favorite quotes:

- "What makes this invention work is the moving weights inside the handles. They simulate the feel of a rope moving, Clancy said. Well, it's only one handle so far because Clancy is waiting for financial backers before building its partner."

Keep on waiting buddy is what I normally would say, but considering you can buy this contraption it only means that some moron had faith that this thing would actually sell. But alas, the moron that partnered with this inventor wasn't so dumb. They banked on the average American buying it. And it worked! Because only in America can you invent shit and someone will buy it and hord it away.

-It's perfect for the clumsy, Clancy said. "If you are still jumping, you're still using your legs as well as your arms, and getting the cardiovascular workout. You just don't have to worry about tripping on the rope."

Ok, seriously? Who after the age of say 7 trips over the rope of a jump rope? Please tell me one person. Come on, in order for this piece of crap to sell we must find several thousands maybe even millions. O but wait, we are a lazy country and we just know that this will get us up off out asses and we won't have to worry about explaining that bruise to the head at the office come Monday morning.

-It is also good for mental institutions and prisons where rope is a suicide risk, said Clancy, who works as a laundry coordinator in a state prison. And low ceiling fans aren't a hazard any more, he said.

Who the hell is using jump ropes under low ceiling fans? And if they are, they deserve the ass kicking they will get with a jump rope weilding a million miles an hour around a room. Hell I would pay money to watch that crap.

-That's right, a jump-rope minus the rope. All that's left is two handles, so you jump over the pretend rope. Or if you are truly lazy, you can pretend to jump over the pretend rope.

Ok, pretend to jump rope? If you need to "pretend" just to pacify the need to say you work out, you need to really get a life. Either that or your a bigger moron than you know. First of all, no one over the age of say 12 jump ropes anymore. If you walk up to someone, weighing 200+ pounds, I can guarantee you that if you tell anyone you are jump roping they will NOT believe you. It's not hard to deduct that a 200+ pound person is not jumping in the air. I have a stomach, I know how it feels, and no way in hell am I jumping around.

Want more info?

People buy this?

I was looking thru this catalog that Chris got in the mail the other day. It's full of very practical things that are reasonably priced that you just never seem to see in the stores. It's full of things seen on TV and other things that just make sense.

Every so often there is something that makes you go, huh? What in the world? People buy this?

So Ladies and....well only ladies read this that I know of. Here is the most random things this catalog had.

First up- Toe Flexers!

Give you stronger, healthier, more beautiful feet in just 10 minutes a day! Long a dancer's secret, now you can benefit from this unique exercise device. Wear the comfy pair while relaxing, watching TV ore even napping - the Achilles tendons are stretched to relieve the discomfort of hammertoes, bunions and other foot maladies. As circulation and flexibility improve, foot pain is lessened. Includes exercise chart.


Um, ok..... HUH? Thats all I have. People really buy this? Please tell me its a joke.

Next up- Penquin Pooper!


Nuff said!

And welcome- Head Stand!


Cause apparently sleeping in bed is way overrated!

And we continue with- Smoking Baby!


A marketing genius must have come up with this one. Bravo moron!

And they just keep coming- Mother Theresa Breath Spray


This can't be for real. Really?

And I leave you with this- Cordless Jumprope


Words can not describe how dumb this really is.

First off I can't believe someone actually invents this stuff. Seriously how do you come up with this dumb stuff. And then if that isn't bad enough, some moron buys it!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Some good news?

Say it isn't so???

How in the world can I have good news? It's just not possible. Ahh but it is.

Yesterday Chris got a letter from the Dept of Economic Security. Now you might be thinking DISABILITY! Nope. UNEMPLOYMENT! Yes, Congress enacted some law that makes people who had unemployment after May 2007 available for 13 more weeks of benefits.

So that means we would get 13 more weeks of benefits. Thats 3 months! That would get us thru the time that disability has to make its decision.

Man o man....

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Movies, Movies and More Movies

I was supposed to be all organized and Martha Stewart-ish. But ehh the hell with it. If I was Martha Stewart I would have a posh house, a tv show and be all organized. But alas I am not. Hell I was late to my own birth, and I betcha I will be late to my own funeral. I am an unorganized, late, overweight, boring 20-something-year-old.

I decided to pop in a movie. And suddenly I find myself watching the 4th movie today. I am a movie junkie, but I haven't had time to really watch movies and have an all day movie marathon like the old days. I love all kinds of movies. It doesn't matter the genre. I like them all.

I have engrossed myself in stories of other's lives today hoping to somehow forget mine for the day. So far so good. But every once in awhile I remember the electric bill, the water bill, or the phone bill. It's quite annoying, my brain. I can't turn things off. And yet here I sit watching another, hoping it goes away.

Add worry wart and hopeless overanalyzer to the list of thing's I am.

It's amazing what a few movies will do. It makes you think about what you really are. As you sit there and sink into a movie you become blank and forget about time. And then at the end you start to think, am I like that? Could I be like that?

So while I should be all organized, and as hard as I try, I find I am not. No matter how hard I really try I am not.


I have some amazing friends. Friends I didn't even know I had really. I have always said I don't have many, probally only one to be exact. But then I go out to my mailbox and there are cards from people who care. People who have never met me in real life. I never thought I had so many, but I do. And to think they all live here inside this little box and I talk to them on it.

Its amazing. Its amazing that people who should be there for you are not and people you never expected to are.

So when you think you don't have anyone, take a look around. They really are there. You may have to look hard, but I promise they are.

To my friends, I love you like family. You are truelly awesome.

And to My Hope, you know who you are, your the best! :)

Thursday, July 3, 2008


So my Scrabble playing buddy will be gone for a week. I am so sad. She is driving to Wisconsin to see family and drop off her brother's furniture. It's only been a few hours since I said good bye and have a safe trip and I am already bored.

What shall I do for a week? Seriously? If I am this bored already, what will I be like in a week?

I imagine that this blog will have loads more posts. I imagine that I will play alot of solitary online slingo (look it up, its fun). And I imagine I will miss her.

She is such a wonderful soul. And I miss her. :(

Geez I sound like a pathetic old hag. But I have become accustomed to our nightly banter back and forth and the sheer determination to beat her in the game. OOO maybe I should read the dictionary, soak up information, research for the next match? Hmmmm the wheels are spinning...squeeking, but they are spinning. Quite scary if you ask me.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Check list Help

I am going to take full advantage of this three day weekend I am embarking on. Chris and I can not afford to really go anywhere, so I am going to tackle some projects around the house. I plan on at least making us some Huttdog's and then a pasta salad, but pretty much I want to accomplish a few things.

So I am "trying" to be all organized about it. I have a pen and even paper. It's labeled things to do.

So, here is where I need some help. To all you that read this (not sure there is many lol)comment and leave me some good "spring" cleaning or deep cleaning ideas that get's overlooked easily. I already have the change a/c filter, do baseboards, turn mattresses on my list.

So comment away :)

Monday, June 30, 2008

I need to be commited, either that or I was beaten up by a midget

I am quite serious.

I hurt myself yet again. Seriously how clumsy am I? Apparently I should take my friends offer and go into that padded room.

I was trying to put up a heavy dark comforter in my front living room window. The drapes up there are too flimsy and really do not distract the sun. The living room gets hotter than hell. Thankfully we are usually in the back living room, office or bedroom. All of which do not get the dreadful afternoon sun. 115 degree days are killing me and my electric bill.

So I hoist myself up there. I was pretty darn proud of myself. Then I fell. I started to fall backwards and realized my glass coffee table was behind me to so I tried to correct myself.

I did something to my ankle. My friend thinks maybe sprained? I have rug burn on my elbow and knee. I knocked my knee into a chair. My other foot went under me and the end table landed on it. Then because I fell on one leg or hip or whatever, that leg hurts like I have a bruise deep in there.

I feel like I was beaten by a midget. And I say a midget because its from the waist down. LOL

So I would gladly take a room for a party of one insane, clumsy, yet huggable 20-something-year-old. Anyone have a nice room for me?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

And just when I "thought" she had me

She went and said something funny again!

LOL, she has me rolling here I tell ya!

I asked her to keep her fingers crossed for me and here is how she replied...

My fingers and toes are crossed...just now sure how long I can keep them that way. Can I uncross them every once in a while to relax them?

This may be the funniest damn thing I heard all day!

In a effort to be more "greener" and overall more cheap. I decided to put up a comforter in the window of my front living room. The drapes up there really do nothing. Seriously. It gets hotter than hell up there.

So basically in a nut shell I fell. I have rug burn on my elbow and knee, and something funny happened to my knee. Overall the knee doesn't bother me as much as my ankle now does. And apparently I have a impression on my ankle now...sigh

So I told my friend this in a email. This is what she said back. O by the way I have been complaining of headaches lately too.

I am considering putting you in a padded room with soothing music and an IV of excedrin. Just to keep you out of pain and out of trouble. What do you think?

Ice your knee...otherwise work will suck worse.

She is really quite hilarious!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The electric company is screwing with me!

I am not sure exactly what happened. I remember getting a shut off notice. I distinctly remember it saying that I needed to pay by the 26th, but apparently that was NOT the case.

So today I am about to run out the door for work. Just as I am grabbing my cell phone and walking out the door, the power goes off.

C yells from the living room getting all huffy about it. I call them and am basically told that the notice said the 16th, not the 26th. When I question why if it said the 16th and it being the 25th, and the electric just NOW being shut off...I am told that they left it on as a curtiousy. Huh?

Um ok.

I am told that I have to pay every dime I am late on, plus a $400 deposit. Apparently my being a loyal customer for 10 years means squat. I have never had electric turned off, except when I switched residences, and even then the electric at both places was on. And if I want it turned back on today I must pay $75.

$75? He is seriously still in my driveway...

I am told he doesn't know how to turn it on, that they have to send someone else who is out of my area. And my electric will be turned on before 5.

At 5 C calls me to tell me it still isnt on. I call them.

They tell me it was turned back on at 11:07am. I said that can't be. I called and paid my bill at that time, they said no, you paid it at 11:02 am. So the idiot who told me that they would have to send someone else out....yeah they lied to me.

And apparently the moron who switched back on my electric didn't switch on the main breaker to the house. If he had the electric would have come right back on and C and my animals and fridge and everything else would have been living comfortably.

Instead I walk in the door at 730pm and the house is so hot its not even registering on the thermostat on the wall, and I look at the little one I have hanging in the house.

It was 98 degrees in this house.

I am going to call and complain tomorrow.

Man am I pissed!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Ms. Robinson please return to the pharmacy

There comes a time in every professional career where you realize at some point that this job seriously has it's pitfalls and seriously is driving you to the break of insanity. Pharmacy is not void of this nor does it ever lack a good story.

Every person who works in pharmacy has a story to tell about some moron who did some stupid thing with his or her medication or they showed up showing them something that no eyes should ever see. And don't forget the stupid questions that are available at every turn.

Retail pharmacy always keeps a pharmacist or pharmacy technician on their toes. Just when you think you have seen it all, someone slaps a Gangrene sock on your counter, told you that the suppositories they got yesterday really don't taste right, or that the whole teaspoon of antibiotics just wont fit in little Johnny's ear.

And I want you to safely know that if you come up to a pharmacy counter and ask a stupid question, make a stupid remark, complain, bitch, moan, or just act like a flat out jackass...the pharmacy is bound to repeat the story at some function. Usually drinking is involved. After all, we need to party too.

I have compiled a list of things you MUST know when you come to the counter of your local pharmacy. These are all things we wish we could say to you, but we are duty bound to act like professionals and actually care about your sorry ass.

1. Drumming your fingers or credit cards on my counter will NOT make me move faster. I am on an important call and simply can not cater to your sorry ass.

2. Yes that is right, the doctor did not call in your refill. Asking me to call him after you have been out of your medication for a week will not constitute him moving faster. Apparently you are not dead, you can wait another 24 hours.

3. Calling me 50 times a day asking if your prescription is ready will not suddenly magically make it appear. I told you I would call you when it's ready. Trust me when I say I want to give it to you so you would leave me the hell alone.

4. When I ask for your insurance card it is because my special super powers are down and I simply can not remember how to reactivate them at the moment, so yes it is crucial I have your card.

5. Giving you a upset stomach is not an allergy. No matter how you insist it is, its not. Get over yourself and eat something when you take the damn medication.

6. Bitching about a $10 copay is really ridiculous and just shows how stupid you really are. Do you realize that brand name Valtrex your getting for your herpes is like normally a $100?

7. The white pill? Seriously you don't know the name of what you need or what it's for? All you know is little white pill? Let me go get all the little white pills and you tell me which one it is.

8. So you took all of your anti-anxiety meds with you on your day trip...and lost them? And need some more? And it's only been two days since you had if filled? Hmm...first time, I give you the benefit of the doubt. But seriously coming back and telling me that SAME story two days later...either your a moron or well your just a moron.

9. Getting mad at me because I don't have a medication in stock is absurd. I can not have every single medication in the world! Every heard of a business, inventory control?

10. You don't have enough money for the pain medication and the antibiotic? How convenient that you would only choose the pain med, tell me you would come back the next day, and here it is a week later and I am returning the antibiotic to inventory. Um yeah strike one in my book, I don't trust your sorry ass.

So in conclusion boys and girls, if you are going to come up with an excuse please come up with a real doosy. We need better stories to tell than those of our professional colleagues.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

It's hotter than hell!

Something has been wrong with my a/c all day. Stupid thing isnt blowing out very cool air.

So on a 100 degree + day.....its been at least 90 degrees in my house all day.

Im annoyed....

Thursday, June 19, 2008

A post titled Dear God.

Dear God,

Normally I ask for things for myself. I pray to you to ask for guidance to help me not shoot the man that is making a racket in my kitchen while on his medication....

dang him.....

ok back....

where was I?

O yes. I normally ask for help for myself. You know I need it. Many a time I have prayed to you asking for a sign, something.

But tonight I ask you for something outside myself. Something that will bring someone else joy, and I guess by proxy will give me and my heart joy too.

You stood next to me while I took those 8 rounds of Clomid. You stood next to me as I stared at thousands of negatives on that little stick I peed on. And you have stood next to me everytime I see a woman pregnant or with a child. You still stand next to me today. I feel your prescense and no you are here.

Tonight I ask you to hold another of your child's hands. Guide her heart, guide her to what is best. Make her a mommy again and her family whole. She is a warm hearted person and a good mommy. She really is. I don't know what your plan is for her, but I surely hope it is to become pregnant here soon.

Her heart is hurting while her mind is ok. Her mind understands, but as you well know her heart just can't catch up quite as quickly.

I know you know I never wanted her to feel this pain. I have prayed that no one ever feel this pain. And yet here she stands, feeling alone and her heart is breaking. I really pray that you heal it quickly.

I don't like to see my Hope sad, crying or hurting. Please take care of her God. And quickly if you can.


Thank you,

Sunday, June 15, 2008

My snuggler

So I have no children. No one who comes running into my bed in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Or wanting Mommy to snuggle with them.

But I have the next best thing.

I have Miss. Lady. She tells me when its bedtime because she jumps into bed, huffs a little, gives a little moan and then snuggles into bed. Thats when I know its time to go to bed.

And I lay down and she crawls over to me. She snuggles right up against my chest. And that is where she is all night long. Rarely if ever does she leave my side all night. She knows when I am going to roll over. She kinda rolls with me. Its hard to explain.

But I have a snuggler. The one with a wet nose who likes to lick my nose when the alarm goes off. She is like having another little alarm in the house.

And she is soft too! So all the more reason she is the best snuggler!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I told her about this...

Yes I told my Mom about this blog.

And yes she is probally reading this...

Ask me if I care...

Now most women of my age (in their 20's) would never want their Mom's to know a thing about their "private" life. Be honest ladies...there has to be something that you would just DIE if she were to find out. Every woman has that one thing she just wont even tell her own mother.

Now see...with me if I couldn't even tell her then it wouldn't be here. Thats for certain. I have nothing to really hide from her. And if I did, do you think I would post it here on the net for all the world to see while she sit's home, blind as a bat, not knowing anything? any red blooded american girl, you tell your girlfriends. LOL.

So while some may be a little shocked that I gave her this website address, rest assured I really wont hold anything back. She knows I cuss, that my favorite word somedays is shit or fuck. She knows I have marriage woes. She knows I want to get out of my dead end job. She knows that I long for children somedays, while others I thank my lucky stars I don't have a snot nosed brat. She knows sometimes I would just love to punch the fat fuck in front of me at my checkout counter. She knows all this. And somehow she still loves me.

So see I am not all that bad. I probally will be more vocal now and really show my "other" side, the one that apparently not enough of my online friends see. My real in-life friend knows my cussing. She, I hope, still loves Again I HOPE (inside joke).

And she also knows how I desperately try to push that marine corp cussing girl aside somedays, how I neglect that crying girl inside, how I push on and on, and how somedays I am just too darned tired. Cause she has been there, done that.

So for the ones that think I am nuts for giving her the address to this blog. I don't care at all. This is me, she knows need to worry. :)

Let the "Angel" free.

After all I am the daughter of a Marine and all. ;)

Happen to strike my fancy

I didnt have the greatest of days so in normal fashion...I listen to some music. Here is what struck me as cool tonight.

And it doesn't hurt that my "boyfriend" is in each one :)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Something happened today...

That made me think about my Mom.

Most people who know me know I have a Mom and then a "Mother". My "Mother", and I use this term very loosely, is what I call the woman who gave birth to me. She is by no means the woman who cared for me.

She wasn't the woman who:

-bought me my first pair of girl pants
-comforted me when my heart was broken by a boy the first time
-the first time a friend betrayed me
-taught me the birds and the bees
-comforted me when I was sick
-kissed my boo boo's
-helped me during my first period
-told me I looked perfect when I went to my first dance
-taught me how to drive
-took me to the doctor when I was sick
-watched me run track
-comforted me when I was sad
-looked in on me to make sure I was sleeping well when I was sick with the flu (yes I knew you did that)
-bought me a new backback every year
-took me school shopping
-helped me sign the paperwork booking the ceremony site for my wedding
-bought the flowers for my wedding
-showed up early to make sure everything was perfect for my wedding
-told me I was the most beautiful bride ever
-and comforted me when the fertility treatments failed.

I could go on and on. But that would take pages and pages that the internet doesn't even have the room for. All of these were NEVER done by the woman who carried me for 9 months, birthed me, and who was supposed to care for me.

These were all done by my Mom. The woman who walked into my life when I was 10. The woman who entered into a marriage with a man who had 3 kids. The woman who never blinked twice with being called a "step mom". But there was never anything step about her. She is my Mom. She might not have ever given birth to me but she has showed me what truely loving a child is. She shows me everyday. She is the mother I hope to become...the one I wish to be.

I hope she knows how much I love her and cherish her everyday.
I love you Mom!

Day 9- Jonesing

I haven't really blogged here about the life altering, mind blowing, castostrophic decision I made.

I am a pop-aholic, aka soda junkie, and I have been sober for 9 days now. It's been 9 days since I touched my last drop.

And I am telling you I am dying here! I am literally salivating at the thought of a cold yummy pop. Just dying to have one, want to knock someone over to get to it, shaking badly, wanting one.

I made it past the headache stage of my recovery. That in itself was horrible. I just didn't feel like myself the entire time. I was tired and had a headache for a week. But the last two days have been rough. I am now craving one badly. Juice helps for a bit, but it's not the same.

I think its because I have been drinking so much plain water. I am drinking at least 9 to 10- 8 oz glasses of water each day. So far I have gotten a headache, tired, shaking and have almost peed my pants daily.

Is there a 12 step program for soda junkies? How about my 90 days sober coin? Where can I get one of those?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

How nasty

In an effort to appear like I have it all together (insert hilarious laughing now) I decided to clean my carpets. My dear friend let me borrow her huge steam cleaner. So I figured this should be easy.

Lady has been peeing on our carpets lately, specifically the front room, and there are some stains on the carpet. I have tried and tried to keep it clean, but honestly with my not being here all day it is taking its toll on the carpet. C doesn't get off his rear end to let her out all the time, or sometimes his meds just have him zonked out that he doesn't know when she needs to go out. She is only 11 months old, and a dach, so her poor little bladder can't hold it. She doesn't get in trouble unless she pees on the carpet when I am home, because she neglected to let me know she needed out.

Plus the company that made this freakin amazing cleaner that got just about everything from urine to a mass murder of blood on the carpet, stopped making it. I am beside myself. Nothing got stuff out of carpet like this stuff did. If I would have known, I would have bought 20 bottles of the stuff. But I am so sad...cause they don't make it anymore. Thus the carpet is a disaster.

And I should also mention that its cream colored carpet. Who in their right mind puts in a light shade of carpet in a house? Seriously who? Are they stupid? Apparently so! We live in Arizona, with dirt flying all over the place. It gets dusty here. Where do you think it falls? In nice piles on the ground outside? I think not!

So here I am living in a home, that I am renting mind you, with cream colored carpet. Yes I am in for it.

I can't keep it clean apparently. I did the front room twice yesterday and both times the water was DISGUSTING! Then this morning I decided to do it again. DISGUSTING. Not to mention the bedroom and hallway. GROSS!!! I can't believe I have been living like this.

It is amazing what carpet cleaning will do to you. It makes your realize your living in filth!!!

That and your life is utterly boring if all you have to blog about is your carpets.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Seeing who I talk to...

I decided, for whatever reason, to finally hook up the webcam I got for Christmas. My brother would be o so proud to know that what he got me for Christmas just sat on top of my monitor, never having actually been plugged in. Shh don't tell him.

So off on this adventure I go.

Now before I proceed I should mention I am not at all a "girl" when it comes to hooking this up. I don't read manuals, I just plug the thing in, jam a disk in and go.

I know you shouldnt do that but hey, thats me. Love me or hate me. I could care less which one you are.

Well lets just say I had a hell of a time with it. The dang thing says its compatible, yahoo says its not....low and behold it really is and they are just trying to play evil tricks on consumers like myself who do not read manuals!!!

So lately I have been seeing who I talk to online. Its quite strange, but none the less it is cool. I just have to remember when I have it on in case I wanna pick my nose.

HA HA...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Can we say odd?

Yesterday as I was leaving work I decided I really didn't feel like cooking dinner. But I am also trying my hardest to watch what I am eating, so I decided to stop at Wendy's. They have some pretty good salads, and I thought what the heck.

I pull up to the menu in the drive thru.

"Welcome to Wendy's"

"Um yes, I would like one southwestern Taco Salad"

"Si, amiga!"

"ok...a number 2 with no lettuce, tomatoes, or pickles with a.."

"thats an awful lot of no's don't ya know"

"with a large coke"

"Yes go on"

"and a baked potato"

"Thanks for playing at Wendy's please pull to the second window"

So I drive to the second window..

Here is some 40-something-year old who apparently hasn't gotten laid in apparently way too long. And he has no life.

I was dumbfounded! Either I was in shock or just too tired to even try messing with him.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

More Random Thoughts from an Insane 20-something-year-old

Why is it so hard to kick the soda habit? Is it that they put crack in it?

There is absolutely nothing on TV and I am bored outta my gord!

The commercial I am watching is rather disgusting.

Cheese and crackers sounds yummy right now.

I can't believe I am on yet another diet!

I really want to do well this time with my diet.

School is in my sights, with nursing school within reach.

My eye itches!

Did I mention I absolutely HATE allergies?!?!

Im too tired to get up away from this computer.

Since when are your late twenties boring?

I thought I was in the prime of my life...O well.

And yes this are the only things I am thinking right now. Boring huh?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Squeeze and Roll

"Squeeze and Roll"

"I think I can do that!"

Sunday, May 25, 2008

It started with a hole-puncher

The papers to hole punch were stacked on top of my desk. I decided during a rousing game of scrabble that it was time to hole punch them and put them in their home, the binder.

I dug thru file cabinet drawer and found the hole puncher. I also found a plethora of items I thought I had lost. So then began the decent that began the almost seemingly never ending pile of crap that is my life.

I dug threw things and decided to reorganize, throw things away and dust. Now three hours later everything has a space and its place.

And all is well in the world.

Remind me again never to go looking for the hole puncher.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Someday I may get it right

Until then, just deal with it!

So I have to be in charge of C's medicine. Yep thats my job. One I simply do not like but one I have. I have to get his medications ready for him and time and time again I get asked the same questions....what's this one? and this one? and this one? and what about this one?

And time and time again I answer him.

Tonight I forgot to bring homw an important one. And I admit I did, but after the 6 or 7 calls from him during the day interupting me, I guess I forgot.

And he is quite mad at me. Thinks he is going to go crazy without it. But I try and try to explain it is in his blood stream for 30 hours....but he doesn't listen. So I get to hear about how I am horrible, I can't get anything right...yada yada.


Someday I may get it right...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So the water guy came today...

Unfortunately the beginning of anything involving the water guy came today can not be the beginning of anything good.

Now either my house was leaking from somewhere and needed divine intervention or the man was at my home to turn what water I do use off. And of course anyone knowing the predictament I am in, would know that it was not the flood coming that made this man show up. Nope, no floods here. Not a water flood nor a money flood.

Damn the water man showed up. Damn Damn

I forgot, or I should say neglected, to pay the water bill for a couple...ok a few, months. And he was here to turn it off. He happened to catch C outside and said he was here to turn us off. But for a mere $150 he could keep us connected. Because yes I have tons and tons and wads and wads of money at my disposal...all sitting here in my magic box. I am hording it don't ya know?

So in a frantic state of mind C came barrelling in the door screaming about the water being turned off and quick he needed a check. Now before I go on, one must know my husband is NOT on the checking account (why is for another post all in itself). So here I am, lying in bed, half asleep....with just a nightshirt on, listening to a 34 year old man scream like a girl about how the water was being turned off and how he needed a check right at that moment.

Now another interjection....did I mention I had been sleeping? So what happens when you have been sleeping for 8 hours and you rush out of bed???? Thats right boys and girls, you have to pee. Suddenly the gates of the bladder are screaming to be unleashed...and thats when the pee dance starts.

So here I am, having to piss like a fucking race horse, my husband is screaming like a 12 year old girl, I can't find a fucking check in my checkbook, I start to rummage thru the secret place I keep my new checks (no I am not telling you), and I have to piss...did I mention that?

So how did your day start? better than mine?

Monday, May 19, 2008


Why is it that I do not have a nack for writing? Why is it that I can't get a thought out on paper without sounding like a complete and utter moron?

Here I am trying my hardest to come up with beginnings of a great penned story. I haven't written a single word. I have tons of thoughts, but nothing gets out onto the paper. It's beyond frustrating and utterly exausting. I have taken to keeping a little pad of paper with me. Just in case a thought comes to mind I can jot it down. That pad of paper? Empty. O no, there is the to-do list.

Think I could get it published?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Random Thoughts

I honestly hate allergies. They suck. I never had them until this year and for some unknown reason they decided this year to kick my ass.

My eyes itch beyond belief. I want to rip them from my head, throw them on the ground and stop on them! They hurt!!!!!!

If I have to watch one more rerun of American Idol Rewind I just may yack. Ryan Seacrest annoys me to no end. I have no idea why, but he is just plain annoying.

I have seriously way way too much to do right now. Tons to clean, little time, and lack of motivation is a glutten for punishment.

Lady is finally out of heat and I can take her to visit her Mama on Mothers Day. She is bringing her a milk bone :)

Chris' side effects from his medication seem to be at bay. Who knew Benadryl was used for other things besides allergies?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

It's been awhile...

Yes it has, yes I know I have been gone. I have nothing to blog about. How sad is that? Honestly?

Friday, April 25, 2008

How do you take away the pain?

How do you take away the pain that the ones you love are experiencing? Seriously how do you?

My dear friend is hurting right now. I know she is, but she is hiding it very well. Her beloved Grandma died last night. It was expected, but sudden to the loved one's hearts. And the family is hurting. I wish I could take away that hurt. I really do.

No matter how much time is spent preparing for the inevitable, the final breaths and thereafter are always met with heartache. Your mind can say over and over again that it will be ok, but the heart really does trump the mind in instances like this. It's human to tell yourself that everything will be ok, that life will go on, that there is no suffering. But the heart sneaks up on you and hits you from behind.

And that is the hurt I want to take away.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Things that make you laugh...

So a drug rep came by a few days ago and gave us this desk calendar. Each day has a interesting tid bit of information. I like seeing the info for that day, makes me feel like I am learning something new.

So today was this...

In 1906, Teddy Roosevelt made the first sitting trip in a airplane, by a President, outside the United States, visiting Panama to inspect the construction progress of the Panama Canal.

So my question is this....

did all the other presidents stand and hold on for dear life?

ha ha ha

I crack myself up!

Commercial Vehicles

Commercial vehicles are prevalent everywhere. We have a large amount here in the Phoenix area. And sometimes they intrigue me enough to ponder their existence.

Like the ones that ask, "How is my Driving? Call....." and the number is scratched out. So scratched that you couldn't possibly call and complain about the moron in the huge truck that just cut you off.

Or how about the one I saw the back window it said Auto Glass, then had a phone number under that. I go to pass it, and glance over....there is HUGE crack in the windshield of this truck. Seriously? If you can't take the time to fix your company vehicles then why would I want you working on mine?

And then their was the pest control truck (I know it was a pest control truck because my Dad used to do that for a living at one time) where all the lettering on the vehicle was in spanish. Thank goodness I read spanish. But what about the average joe on the street. I understand that alot of spanish speaking people now live in Arizona, but I thought this was America and the language of the land was English?

Ok vent and rant over...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Paper Letters

It honestly feels like forever since I sat down and actually wrote a written letter. Yes on paper with a pen even. Imagine that! I think the last time I had actually sat down and wrote such a letter was when my brother was stationed in Iraq.

Well his wife told me the other day that he loves letters and was quite bummed that he hadn't gotten as many as other people. So I sat down tonight and wrote him one. It was 4 pages long. And I tucked it inside a nice little card for him. Just something to brighten his day. I hope it will when he gets it. He has sacrificed so much for this country, whatever little bit I can do, I will.

I miss him alot. He has always been my source of laughter. No matter what he can make me laugh, even when I want to hit him upside the head or smack him. He always makes me laugh. One of the great, but yet can be annoying, things about him is that he doesn't take things outside the military seriously. It must be because of what he does. He needs his source of laughter, and unfortunately alot of the time I am that source. He never forgets a blunder moment or embarrassing moment, and he never fails to repeat it about a hundred times. The boy is annoying I tell you, but I love him. He is my little brother, but man sometimes.....well you get my drift.

So I wrote him an actual paper letter. I had to hunt and hunt for writing paper. I think its amazing that I did not have it readily available. And I also find it quite sad. Sad that no one really sits and writes letters anymore. Its all technology now. I mean back when I was a kid I would be writing this in a journal, not here online. Crazy how things have changed. Just purely crazy.

Makes you wonder sometimes...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It's been awhile...

Well I had a blog done last night, but I have no idea what happened to it. It was somewhat uplifting and lighthearted maybe...I can't even remember now.

So I thought I would just blast some thoughts out here and see what happens. Maybe some therapeutic release or something.

Sometimes in life you are not handed the right hand. That hand is no good and you have to bluff your way thru the game. It's hard, but you do it. All the while remembering it's not the hand your dealt but how you play the card's that matters.

Thing's in my life are in somewhat of turmoil, I guess you could say for lack of a better word. Thing's are not how I invisioned them or dreamed about. But it is the hand I was dealt and I am struggling to play the card's correctly. It's a hard game, but I am trying.

My marriage isn't what I thought it was or even dreamed of it being. C has lied to me about so many things that I now often wonder if he even knows how to tell the truth. It's very sad when you can not trust your own husband. Very sad. I struggle everyday and desperately want to trust what he says and does. But I have come to the conclusion that I simply can not and there is nothing that I personally can do about it. I have expressed numerous times to him that my trust, respect, and appreciation for him are things that need to be earned back. I simply do not have those things in my vocabulary when I speak of him or even think of him.

He knows where I stand on the issues that have gone on. It's up to him to decide on how he wants to recify this situation. If he chooses to ignore it or chooses to not want to help this situation, then I can not be part of that. I need stability and a happy life. I will not settle for less. No way, no how. I have for too long and don't want it any longer.

As long as he continues to try and make things better for not only us but for him, then I will stand beside him. I understand people falter and stumble. But I refuse to stand next to someone who trips, falls and refuses to get up.

Remember its how the cards are played thats important.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

She is a Champion!

Lady amazes me sometimes. I teach her to sit on her hind legs and I think I am a genius. That was until she amazed me today.

We went to the Doxie Day's here in town. Basically everyone comes who owns a dach and enjoys each others company along with seeing other dogs and even partaking in some fun. They had a obstacle course there where you were graded on how well you did.

Lady amazed the heck out of me. The doggie that all I have taught her is to stand on her hind legs, got a 21 out of 21! She hopped up on the step stool, jumped into tires, ran thru a tunnel, went thru a pole weaving thing, jumped thru a huge tire, and jumped over 2 poles. And she did this only with my holding her leash and saying," come on miss lady bird, good lady bird."

So I am a proud mommy. I have her "report card" on the fridge. Right next to the doggie paw prints we made too.

Such a proud mommy I tell you...

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Because if I don't post she might hit me...

Ok I was trying to be funny, but I know if I do not blog she just might hit me. And for that I am scared beyond belief.

Ok Seriously...

It's come to mind taht I need to do something with my life. Something of substance, something that leaves my mark on this world. Lord knows I am a boring twit who has done NOTHING of importance and I should do something about it soon.

So I have been pondering what it is that I should do. Should I give my time at the local shelter handing out food? Should I gather everything in this house of junk that I do not use and donate it? Should I plant a tree? What is it that I should do?

I am so not sure. I've contemplated going back to school. Pharmacy seems like the most natural path, but I am not even sure if I want to do that. I'm kinda lost. So I have been taking time this past week to really think about what it is that I want to do.

These past few years haven't been the greatest by anymeans. Heck the past 3 months have been hell. Between having a sick husband, no money, bills coming out of my ass and everything else you want to throw in there, I have just about lost my ever loving mind.

Somewhere I lost myself, lost the ability to think about what I really want out of life and what it is that makes me happy. Sure some chocolate and a pepsi is good, but what really makes me happy? I sure don't know.

This past week has been especially trying for me. C is in the hospital right now. I am home alone alot, with nothing to do. (I will save the logistics and specifics for another post when I feel up to explaining or purging so to speak).

I am here alone to wallow in my aloneness or whatever you want to call it. And I am here thinking about what I want.

All I know is that I want to make the group trip in June back to Boston. I think nursing school may be a good idea. I need to clean the inside of my car. Lady needs a bath. And another soda sounds like a good idea.

Great start eh?

For You Mrs Courtney!

LOL, you wanted a worthwhile blog :) There ya go! He he....

For You Mr. Caden...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"I don't think you would know...."

So Im at work, minding my business. A coworker and I are talking about a drug, totally ingrossed in what the conversation is. This random teenage customer walks up to the plastic see through partician that seperates us.

"I don't think you would know..." as he looks at both of us.

"Ok, but we can try" says my coworker.

"I'm looking for hair gel that doesn't make your hair shiny. It makes it look natural."

"Hmmm I am not sure, let me ask our Intern..."

He looks up, sees our intern and says, "OH YES! SHE WOULD KNOW!"

So apparently the co worker and I know nothing about hair. We both look at each other and I comment, "Doesn't he know how hard it is to get up in the morning?"

Friday, March 14, 2008

Chocolate and Peanut Butter

So everyone who knows me knows I love Twix. Well for forever on the back of the wrapper there has been an advertisement for a new Twix with a chocolate cookie and peanut butter in its place instead of cookie and caramel.

Sounds yummy right? Ehh not so much. It's just not the same as a normal Twix. Here I had seen this advertisement for literally months...never saw the actual product in the stores and I FINALLY do and I FINALLY buy one and it SUCKS!

So sad when chocolate disappoints you...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

She is learning...

So Lady is learning the skillful art of sitting on her hind legs with her front paws up. It's hard for some dogs to do but especially hard for her considering she is a dach and long in the sense. She is o so proud of herself too. Maybe its because I make a huge ordeal over it and praise her and let her know she is such a good girl.

She wags her tail, looks at me lovingly and gets so excited. It is cute and nice to know that something hangs on every word you say. Because lord knows there are people in this world who couldn't give a flying monkey what I say. *sigh* Such is life tho.

Today Lady was scared out of her wits end. Chris called me from the hospital and was asking me what I was doing. I happened to be getting ready to come see him and told him I was getting dressed. Well Lady was laying on the bed not more than two feet from me. Chris must have been talking awfully loud because she turned her head acknowledging that she just might know that voice. So I told Chris to say hi to her. I held the phone by her head and she FREAKED out! She went bazzerk and starting running away.

Apparently we scared her. She is now scarred for life and will never be the same. Ahh we are such awful dog parents.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Are you happy now?

Apparently I have "fallen" off the face of the earth and need to blog. This has been told to me not only thru this wonderful blog but in person.

So here I sit wondering what to blog. Do I blog about the Paradise Hotel episode I am watching? Do I blog about the cold I have? What is it that you wanna know about me?

Ask me anything...its a free for all...whatever you want to know, I will answer it.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Makes you think....

Monday, February 18, 2008

She thinks she is big and bad

Yes she seems to think she is big, bad and has some big juevos.

But alas, she is a little bitty Dachs puppy. And once she realizes she is a little too in over her head, she runs to me like a good puppy should.

Lady seems to think she needs to bark and somehow make her presence known when we have our front door open. Everyone that walks by, every leaf that blows by, every car that drives by is victim to the bark. She starts barking, thinking she sounds big and bad. This always leads to Panther barking, who is a large dog (part lab). Once Panther barks, Lady goes running. And she runs to me. Scared beyond belief, shaking and whimpering. Its so utterly cute.

Just like a good little girl, she knows who her mama is.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

5 days...really?

So I apparently leave in 5 days! Holy cow....I'm so anxious yet excited. Damn I have alot of crap to get done and absolutely NO time to do it....should I make a list? Check it twice?

He is home

Today Chris was discharged from the hospital, much to both of our amazements. We thought he was going to be there at least one more day. They called and wanted to know what he wanted for dinner and breakfast the next day. Naturally we anticipated him staying. He was even loving his hospital bed. He said it was much more comfortable than the one we had at home. I don't know whether to be ashamed or laughing at such a silly thing.

He is doing well. They have no idea why he passed out. No answers to anything at all. But he is home, asking me for something to eat, and making me feel better knowing he is here and not in a hospital.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Scared & Lonely

So this morning Chris wakes me up. I thought it was a normal wakeup, I do it everyday to take him to work. Today was different tho.

He was a mess. Literally. He had slurred speech, was uneasy on his feet, had two cuts on his forehead and what looked almost like roadrash on his nose.

Apparently he got dizzy and fell in the garage. He hit his head on concrete. How long he was out, I have no idea because I was asleep.

We went to the ER and Chris had a number of tests done. Nothing was found, but he was admitted. So right now he is at the hospital. And I am here, lonely and a little scared. Not knowing what is going on isnt settling right in my stomach.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Free or Cheap ≠ Good

Free or Cheap ≠ Good

Yep you heard me right. Im in the depths of utter horror right now.

So tonight I decided to bake a cake. I had everything all set. I baked the cake, let it cool, then frosted it.

I figured if I was going to cheat on my diet, I might as well do it good! So I cut a piece.

Now lemme tell you something. I took a bite out of the nastiest cake EVER! The frosting that I got, I believe, for free if not then for cheap was horribly bad. A mixture of metal and I believe what Shit would taste like.

I can NOT get this taste out of my mouth at all. I've tried drinks, tic tacs, eating something else, brushing my teeth....Next is ripping my tongue out of my mouth.......

so ladies and gentleman...Free or Cheap ≠ Good

Thursday, February 7, 2008

First Email...

Most who know me know that my brother is going to Afghanistan. He is one of my younger brothers.

He is leaving this weekend (he is in North Carolina as I type this) and I am finding it hard to talk or even post about him right now. So I will give you what he emailed me. :)


Yep it was just a picture. But it was nice to see his face. :)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Kiss the roof at a yellow...

Friends mean alot to me. They hold special places in my heart. Some come and some go. But the ones that last through the good and the bad hold a special place in my heart and in my life.

I don't have many friends in my life. I'm an oddball and alot of people do not get me. But that's ok. The ones that do are honestly the best friends I could ever have.

I've had the fortunate opportunity to meet some of the greatest people, spirits, and kind human beings. One's that are awe inspiring, giving, and loving. They have touched my heart and continue to do so everyday. They mean more to me than anyone, even themselves, will ever know.

They are the types of friends that only come along once in a lifetime. And I have been lucky to have 3 of them. One, I see on a regular basis, talk to almost daily, and laugh with all the time. She is a constant reminder of what is good and kind in this world. The second, lives further away. She is always with me in spirit tho, and I think of her often. And the third is no longer with us.

The third is someone I had known for along time. I've mentioned her before and have been thinking of her more and more everyday. She was the kindest of souls. I remember laughing with her one day in particular. It was school picture retakes our Sophmore year. Our last names were close in the alphabet so we had the same time slot to get them retaken.

We decided to go up there at the same time. The wide goofy grin I had that will appear etched in time forever was caused by her. She was making me laugh with her comedy routine and jumping all over the place behind the photographer. I will always remember that time.

So when I kiss the roof at a yellow.....its for you Renea!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

To Whom it may concern,

I have realized that I have changed somewhat since I was younger. I'm not exactly sure who, if anyone, from my past would see much less read this. But I should start from say 18 (right after highschool). Here is my life story, make sure to take notes in case I ever get famous and you decide to jot down a book or two about me.

So I graduated at 18. I had the highest expectations of doing things, seeing things, basically living a wonderful life. I had decided somewhere in the middle of my senior year of high school that I would take a year off after school to just live. I basically did not want to go to college with the same people I hid from in high school. So working and more working was in the cards for me. I forgoed my SAT's and lived by the seat of my pants the last half of my senior year. This I will later come to regret and wish I had done what I had set to do over half of my life.

I was also having a very rough time with my Father. We had had a huge fight at the beginning of my senior year. After graduation we tried and tried to come to an agreement to just disagree and move on. It was a really rough time. I didn't want to back down, neither did he. I was confused and quite honestly scared to death that my Father did not love me for me.

I was in a relationship with someone (hence forth named shithead). Why the relationship lasted more than one week I will never know or understand. Still to this day I wonder what exactly I ever saw in him. I must have had blinders on. Shithead was just that, a shithead. To this day I don't know where he is, what he is doing, how he is, etc. It's much much better this way.

The day he decided to break up with me was not a good day. The day ended up foiling his plans and instead he broke up with me the next day. I am glad in a sense he was caring enough to wait 24 hours. I was given the news that my friend since 4th grade was killed. I don't believe I could have processed any more pain. My life was forever changed that day. I think thats the day where a part of myself died with Renea. Innocence was lost and abandoned. And that was ok. I needed to grow up a bit. Every so often Renea comes to my mind, reminding me of true friendship and love. It's moments like that where I thank God she was in my life.

So I continued working, striving to complete this year of turmoil since I graduated. I barelled through work and continued trying to build a relationship with my Father.

During this time I met Chris. I liked him enough in the sense to be his friend, but hated the idea of a relationship. I'm not quite sure if it was just him or the fact that I wanted to be left alone. But the day he asked me out on a date was the day I felt sorry for him. And when the date night came up I secretly wished for some catastrophe so I wouldn't have to go out with him. But apparently nothing happened.

It was a weird start to a relationship. But after that first date everything happened very quickly. One day we were at a movie the next it seemed like we were living together. I swear I blinked my eyes and boom here we are almost 10 years later.

Shortly after we started dating I had some issues with my health. I had been gaining weight but just attributed it to being a little depressed after losing Renea. But then more and more symptoms of different things started happening. I was told I had cysts on my ovaries. I went through two surgeries in two years before I said enough was enough and began ignoring the situation. I did not want to be poked or proded. I was done with that.

So Chris and I lived an ok life. We moved into a couple of apartments in the course of 4 or 5 years. We got a dog, got a fish, and then moved into a house. Chris was working alot of hours. Life seemed grand. Along came a couple cats and all was well.

Day to day things would happen, but it was never more than Chris and I could handle. One day my brother announced he was marrying his girlfriend. Thus began the big debate as to when Chris and I would get married. I was told 7 years was long enough to make the poor man wait. But I was hesitant.

See I had fears. Fears that went back to the days of my own parents marriage. I did not want to end up like them, divorced and bitter at each other with children caught up in the mess. I wanted to take my time, and do it when I wanted to. But I was poked and proded so much that month that I hastily chose a date. I couldn't even sign the contract booking the ceremony. I was that unsure about it all.

I honestly felt like I was in a bubble. And no one could hear me. Now do not get me wrong. I love Chris dearly, with every fiber of my being, but marriage scared the hell out of me. I was a commitment phobe down to the tips of my toes.

Over the next month or two I proceeded according to plans. I made lists and decisions. And I grew into the idea of being married. One day I woke up and I wasn't scared at all. I can tell you the day too. It was the day my brother was married. I woke up and began my day. I raced around doing things for the two of them. I wasn't scared for their marriage, nor mine really. Honestly it could have been I was so wrapped up in making their day special that I forgot about my own needs.

But as I stood in that wedding party, hearing them recite vows, and professing their love for each other, my own wedding didn't seem scary or unattainable. I was at peace with it.

So on January 21st, 2006, I walked down the isle in a white dress on the arm of my father and gave my heart, my trust, my friendship and my life to an amazing spirit. Chris has had his ups and downs. He never had a great childhood or even life, but at that moment he was happy and in a pure place. He was content and I was happy that he was happy.

We began married life just as any other day in our lives really. No honeymoon for us, but that was ok. Chris and I are simple and want for nothing really. Just a roof over our heads, a bed to lie our heads on, food in our bellies, and animals to love.

Shortly after we got married we decided it was time for children. We had been together 7 years and hadn't experienced a family of our own. We tried and tried but couldn't get pregnant. I went through 8 rounds of Clomid before I said enough. My body was tired. It wasn't working even with the help of medicine and I was at my wits end. I decided to see a specialist. I only got to see this man once. Now that I look back on it I am glad I only saw him once. I wasn't able to get my hopes up. I didn't have enough time to process the idea of him even helping me get pregnant.

Then last summer Chris lost his job. His self esteem plummeted to the floor and I was left to pick up shattered pieces of him everyday. How I made it through that time I will never know, understand or even want to understand. I did what was necessary and would again. That's just me. Deal with it and move on.

I also stopped any and all things to help with getting pregnant. I never went back to the specialist. I continued on with my life. It took a long while, but I have finally come to terms with the simple fact that children actually might not be in the cards for us. And I am somewhat ok with it, it just depends on the day you catch me on. But I still do long to be pregnant just once, to hold my own flesh and blood just once, to know unconditional love, to know that someone's life is in my hands, to just have one child. Thats all I ever pray for it seems like. But its just not in the cards right now if ever. And I am ok at the moment with it.

But this past week he started a new job. Thankfully. Praise God. He is back to his old self. And I feel so blessed. God provided and I knew he would.

So here I am tonight. Sitting in front of this computer, typing out what's gone on in my life, sitting here with my new puppy curled up on a pillow beside me. The house is quiet except for my typing and the hum of the heater. All is right in the world at the moment, all is calm, all is good.

And for that I am thankful. Praise God.

One of these days I will blog about the amazing people in my life. This one has gone on forever and I am just about ready to zonk out literally at this desk.

Hugs and much love,

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Holy Crap....

I just looked at the counter on this page..... 19 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE?!?!?!?

Holy Crap.

Monday, January 28, 2008

I just may be going bald...

So I have a tendency to lose alot of my hair. I run my hand thru it and out comes a ton of hair. Its aggravating and annoying combined. You would think I would be bald with the way I am losing hair.

Its so bad that when I get my hair cut the poor hairstylist constantly has to wipe their hands on a towel to get my long hair off their hands. Ive been asked a million times if I have a thyroid condition or something else. No I do not. Ive been tested twice a year for it. Swear.

So anyways....

Too Much Information Alert! I warned you!

So I have been having issues with the drain in my tub. Its been clogged beyond belief. I bought some draino stuff and it didn't help. So last night in my insomnia filled night I decided to get to the bottom of it. I got some sponges, some scrubbing bubbles, a paper clip, paper towels, and a pair of scissors. I sound like I was going into combat in the amazon or something....

Anyways. I tackle the drain. And come out with seriously the biggest chunk of hair I have ever seen. Amazingly my drain is pretty clean. Ive seen some really bad ones, and with the exception of the hair it was clean. No nastiness on the hair.

Ok how sad is this that this is all I have to blog about? Seriously?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Late Night Thoughts

1. I can't believe I am blogging as much as I have been, I am sure Courtney is thrilled.
2. I am up way too late at night.
3. Are the clothes dry yet?
4. What the heck is Mario Lopez wearing on Extra TV?
5. Chris really starts work tomorrow? (Actually today because its 12:20am...and crap I have to wake up in 5 hours to take him to work!)
6. Again I am up way too late at night.
7. Damn it! I drank 3 sodas today! Crap!
8. I wonder if there is any chocolate in this house...
9. Are the clothes dry yet?
10. This chair is not comfortable at all.
11. I wonder who I am working with tomorrow, Chris or Lindsay or both?
12. Where the heck is the puppy?
13. She is probally with Chris (DH)...
14. Traitor!
15. Is it sad that I can't wait for Chris (DH) to get the heck out of the house?
16. If it is, who the hell cares?
17. Man my stomach feels blah!
18. Sleepy time...
19. I am getting tired
20. Ok time to sign off and go to bed.

and one last thought....
21. Are the clothes dry yet?

Mittens-Check, Toothpaste-Check, Coat-......

So I am packing for this trip to Boston. Yes I know its like 25 days away, but I am just about as anal retentive as the next lunatic in the insane asylum. Yes I am on medication for it, but that is another blog for another day.

OK, so I am making a list (yes I have checked it twice, maybe even more, and I ain't no damn Santa). I have just about everything on this list even a coat. At least its somewhere in this house. I think its in the guest room under the twenty piles of clothes I have. Literally twenty piles it seems. But for me to have a coat that would even be suitable to wear to Boston during the winter is a miracle and kinda strange in its own sense.

Its strange because I live in Arizona, and I would never wear a coat like this. I'm usually a light coat kinda gal. I'm thinking the simple fact that I own this jacket just solidifies the fact that I own way too much crap.

Ironically I have nothing to hold all of this crap I am taking in. Crazy huh? You would think in this Stanford & Son remake of a house I would have a suitcase. I can't even find the duffel bag I "thought" I owned. I must have thrown it out or something. I have no idea. The only semi suitable compartment that I own is a little bitty suitcase (think big enough to hold one pair of shoes) that my grandmother gave me, circa 1950. That's the suitcase I shove miscellaneous pictures in and then shoved in the back of the closet. Lord I can't even believe I am admitting to owning such a relic.

So anyways. I've made this list a few times, editing, rewriting (much to the dismay of Courtney I presume lol), and tweaking. I think I have it all just about figured out.

Now all I need is the suitcase, which I think Courtney said she had one for me, and to find the coat I have.

And then I am to the land of snow and cold!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I have this theory...hear me out...

So I have this theory. I am by no means a rocket scientist...I barely passed Lab in Chemistry (damn teacher and her panties in a wad...O wait thats another story). But I do know something about theories.

I've talked about my theory of American Idol and the insane people who go on it. How they are horrible and that the only reason why these horrible people go on American Idol is because there clearly is NOT someone in their lives who loves them. Someone who loves them enough to tell them they suck and will make a ass out of themselves for the whole world to see.

But I have a new theory.

I was checking out some other blogs, reading and laughing. When I came across one that talked about the all mighty Girl Scout Cookies. Suddenly I was dreaming of a Samoa or a Thin Mint in my mouth. My mouth was drooling. Wanting to savour the sweet existance of the Girl Scout Cookie. Ahhh...pure heaven.

Wake up to reality...

First and foremost, I can't get one right now anyways. They are just in the midst of ordering them. And yes I know they are because my bosses daughter is a Girl Scout. (Note to self: Make sure to tell boss that his daughter can NEVER stop being a Girl Scout and even if I have to I will take her to her meetings...that way there is always a IN for the cookies) And yes I have ordered a box or two...ok 5. Shut up. I dont need a lecture.

Secondly, I simply can NOT eat them. Its not indicative of the eating habits I have now. Im trying to eat better. Im trying to lose weight. But Damn those cookies!

So my theory?

The Girl Scouts have a evil plan. They produce these ordering sheets in hopes of your ordering. And if you dont, then they man a little girl at the door of a grocery store. Where she bats her eyes, looks sad because you just might tell her no, and has signs up about helping their troop reach their goal so they can go to the zoo of all places. Its a evil plan because how in the world are you supposed to tell a little girl in brown no? Tell me how?

And they do this all the first two months of a New Years Resolution! Conspiracy? I think so.

But Damn those cookies are good!