Monday, March 29, 2010

A love like no other...

At some point throughout a person's life you come across a love that will sweep you off your feet, a love that touches your heart, a love that makes you a better person, and a love that simply puts a smile on your face.

Love is a funny thing. For me it isn't perfect by any means. I have had a couple of loves in my life. And I love every one of my friends for different reasons. I try to tell the people in my life that they mean the world to me and that I love them as often as I get to. It's important to me.

I simply do not want any regrets when I leave this world. I want those who knew me, whom I loved, to know I loved them. I want them to know they are special, that I thought the world of them. So I tell those loved ones. Daily sometimes.

Most people think that Chris and I say "I love you" just way too much. And sometimes I agree with that. But this has always been the way Chris and I have operated. I say it to him because I do love him. I may not be extremely head over heels madly in love with him 100% of the time, but I do love him. For various reasons (that I will leave for another day to explain).

I think love is tricky too. It's hard to explain, hard to understand. There are so many different levels of love. And most are not in tune with their relationships or even the word love to grasp what the word even means. It is thrown around so blindly and so willy nilly that the word almost doesn't mean anything anymore.

For me that is so extremely sad. Because love means alot to me. And when I love, I love with my whole heart, as much as I possibly can. I never say I love someone unless I truely mean it, unless I want that person to understand what they mean to me.

Like I said, I have had a couple of loves. A few maybe. And these are loves like no other. They all had different meanings to me, all go back to different stages of my life.

There was Chad...

My first real boyfriend, first real relationship. And he broke my heart. We were just freshmen in highschool. So really it was kid love. And looking back on it, well, it was quite comical. But I don't regret using that word. He is an important part of my past. He came into my life when I was entering highschool, entering a life changing part of my life. And he was geniunely a good guy.

Then there was Tom...

Now this relationship was extremely important to me. I would be lying if I said I never thought of him anymore. I still do every now and then. Tom was older than I was, and held the key to independence and adulthood, or so I thought. He was 21 and I was 18. I was a senior in high school, and dating him gave me instant popularity. I was the girl dating a guy out of high school. To girls, I was dating a babe. To guys, I must have had something if a older guy wanted to date me. Tom is also who I lost my virginity to. And even as a Christian now, I don't regret it.

And finally there is Chris...

I hated him when I first met him. Loathed him. Couldn't stand him. And then something changed. I still don't know what it was. We haven't had the greatest relationship. There have been fights, drug use (his part) and other issues. But we have survived. We have gotten through it at. It's a relationship I simply can not explain.

I guess in all of this, what I have been trying to explain is that every love is like no other. There are many loves in a person's life. And they are all different. They don't have to be that of a sexual nature either. Love comes in many different shapes, sizes and colors. You have to make your own definition of love. Have to figure out each level. Its up to you to find it, catch it and hold onto it. To find a love like no other is up to you.