Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I have been thinking alot lately of what truly makes a friend.  What is the definition?  Well we could go look it up, but what does it really mean?

I think we all have different definitions although some of those definitions might duplicate and repeat themselves.

I have had to take a long look at some of the friendships I have made.  Reason?  Well someone once said you surround yourself with the people you want other's to know you as.  Well that makes sense.  If you want to be known as a thief, you tend to hang out with other thieves.  If you want to be known as a God fearing Christian, you surround yourself with other Christians.  It makes perfect sense.

So I wondered exactly who are my friends.  Who are they?

I tend to like all kinds of people.  I do not have a mold that everyone must fit in.  I know that is impossible.  It just can't happen.  I open my heart and soul to everyone.  I have had it smashed a few times, and other times the love has been reciprocated.  For the most part I have developed some lasting friendships that mean more to me than anything else.

But there are those rare bad seeds.  The ones that I let in and just can't tear myself away from.  I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and always give them second, third, fourth....chances.  And they always let me down.  Now I am not someone with high standards.  Anyone who has met me can attest.  I am a simple person who isn't extravagant by any means.  All I ask for is respect and for my feelings to be thought of sometimes.  Easy right?

Ya not so much.

So because of a recent incident I have sat back and really thought of who my friends are and who I want people to know me as.  Do I want to be known as someone who is loving?  Or someone who has no regard for others feelings and runs the streets?

I think we all know the answer to those questions.   I am consciously deciding on who I want in my life and who I do not want in my life.  I care too much about others and it's extremely hard for me to step back and not get involved.  It tears my heart in two.  But I have to do it.  I have to.


hangel said...

What do you have to do? I hope you consider me a friend still. We need to get together!

Angel said...

Court- Yep we are still friends...friends till the end. Life has just gotten so ridiculously busy. And yes we need to get together ASAP!