Monday, October 1, 2007

Finding one's path

The twenties are supposed to be the time in your life where you find yourself and your path in life. Or at least they tell me...

I'm 27. I have no idea what the heck my path is or even what I am really about. I haven't graduated fully from college (I have graduated from a program tho), I don't own my own home, I have no children, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Sounds incredibly horrible right? Ehh...might not be to some, but it's beginning to bother the heck outta me.

The more I look back on my past, the more I remember that I thought I would have accomplished so much more by now. Back as a senior in highschool, I imagined myself settled in a home, with a husband, career and maybe even a few kids by now. I imagined I would be extremely happy and content. I imagined that my life would be full of fun, never heartaches.

Now looking at the present and the future I am filled with so much uncertaintly. I have the hardest times lately. Some would go screaming for the hills with the problems I have had, yet I haven't. Which I still think means I am a nut. I don't know how I haven't ended up in an institution yet. But alas, I take one day at a time.

More so lately I have learned that things do not exactly follow the path's your heart dreams of when you were younger. Things happen and change. Things may not be as they seem. And sometimes those things are happening for a reason.

Lately I have been drawn more and more to finding my path, mainly with God. I can not explain why. It's true that suddenly I woke up and thought about God one day. I mean I have always believed, but one day I woke up and wondered what my relationship was with him. I wondered if I would ever "figure" it out.

So in trying to find my path, I have tried to find my relationship with God and what it all means. Its a very slow process, full of many questions that I know no answers to. But I am searching and looking for my path. Mainly my path to God.


hangel said...

I don't know any more answers than you do about God, but would be glad to help you along your path. Any way I can...and Amy, too!