Saturday, August 9, 2008


So I am back from a first birthday party! So much fun :)

It was so cute. Joie (pronounced Joey) was adorable. She wore a tutu and had a crown, wand and sparkly shoes. Erin (my SIL) made a castle cake that was beautiful.

It was nice, but there was an absence without my brother. But we recorded it all for him and kept saying Joie say hi to daddy...and she would wave her hands and smile to the camera. He is going to love it. But I swear looking into her eyes is like looking into my brothers. While its adorable its also sad a bit.

My "mother" (birth mother) was there with her boyfriend. *sigh* Why I expected more I have no clue. But she didn't say a word to me. It was so apparent and clear I am not good enough for her. In fact when someone asked her if she only had Tom as a child, she said o no, flung her hand over and said well thats my daughter. She didnt even say my name. She refused to come near me. Whatever. Her loss not mine. But it was so obvious that I am not what she wants in her life. Apparently I am not good enough. *sigh*

Other than that it was a beautiful party. Lots of girly stuff and lots of kids playing. It was wonderful. I got to spend time with my little Joie and give her kisses. Erin kept saying go to Auntie Angel and Joie would walk over to me and open her mouth with this huge grin and then reach her hand up for mine. We share a good connection. She looked an awful lot like me when she was born. You would have thought we were sisters or I was her mama.

But I am back. Long long drive, but o so worth it all.


hangel said...

Creepy...this post wasn't here a second ago.

I just wanted to say that I am glad you had fun...and made the drive. Your little Joie thanks you!

Can't wait to see pictures!