Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Pain is getting to me

So this pain. Its really becoming unbearable.

Ive had some issues with my right thigh. Its always felt a little strange since I packed on the weight I keep lugging around. It has kinda felt like it was asleep in the sense, but without that hurting tingling feeling you get when your foot is asleep. Its never really bothered me as long as I didnt touch my thigh. If I did I would get weirded out by it and it would hurt a bit.

I talked to the Dr about it. He said he thought it was from the weight I am carrying in my stomach. He thought it was pinching a nerve somewhere, maybe even straining it. I didnt persue the issue and dropped it.

Well its gotten extremely worse in a VERY short amount of time. Now both of my legs are affected and I wince in pain. Its affecting my sleep and that to me is the core of my being. If I can not sleep, kill me now, life is not worth living. I know, dramatic, but I am literally addicted. Sleep is like my narcotic that I can NOT get enough of. I am a sleep junkie.

So its a horrific pain. Shooting, stabbing pains, like someone is literally stabbing me in the thighs. The only position that makes it bearable is sitting. And even then there is some pain, but not alot. This position is clearly not an option at work, where I am on my feet for 8 hours.

So this is the main reason I am wanting to lose weight. I can NOT take this torture and pain any longer. Im in pain and cry when I lay down at night because of it. Its gotten so bad that I think the puppy knows and is gentle with me if she jumps up on my legs. She puts one paw gingerly on my leg and then the next. She doesnt want to hurt me.

I have a appointment on the 21st of Feb (the day before I leave on my trip). I hope he can help me. I desperately need something to take until I can lose this weight. So please pray that it lessens a bit for me, that I get some relief, that the dr understands and that I lose this weight quickly.

Im just so damned tired of it all, really.


hangel said...

Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know the feeling. I am sorry that you are in that much pain. You hide it well at work. I hope your doctor's appointment goes well--and that you survive until then. I am glad you made an appointment, though! You have to take care of yourself!